nsamusements | Call Out Meme: Version 2.0

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Call Out Meme: Version 2.0

Edit: I'm going to close this one to new threads now. Feel free to continue old ones, but start all new ones here, please! Thank you!
Since the first one is getting so big, here is a new one! Feel free to continue any thread in the old one, but start all new threads here! Thanks!

【the ❝CALL ME OUT❞ meme】 II
a roleplay meme to inspire muses.

♛ refer to the list above for active muses.
♛ post "calling" one of them out — you can do so by putting their ~~name~~ journal in the subject line! (I have too many Lancers to just go by name! X.x )
♛ can be informal/formal/comment spam/crosscanon/explicit/whatever tickles your fancy!
♛ feel free to make up a scenario at the start, or wait to see where things go.

meme code.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I wasn't trying to. I--I'm sorry.

[Diarmuid flinches when he hears the answer especially considering Waver's reaction seems to imply the memory hadn't been pleasant...

...again.

He pulls his friend closer.]

Don't be sorry. I saw some of yours too, but something tells me what you saw of mine must have been worse...

...it was your brother. I...wasn't trying to pry into anything.

[He tried to hide the guilty and distressed look on his face, but it was difficult to hide much where Diarmuid was concerned.]

My brother? You mean Cu Chulainn?

[Though that couldn't be right, could it? Why would any of his memories about Cu Chulainn have brought so much distress and guilt to Waver's face?]

D-did you finally see what I said to them way back...?

N-no, I...

[He sighed, hugging Diarmuid a little tighter.]

I meant your half-brother.

O-Oh...

[All the color drains from his face and he does his best to look away from Waver.]

D-did you see...

...yeah, I did. I'm...I'm sorry. I should've been more careful.

No, no! It wasn't your fault. I...

[He buries his head against Waver's, fighting back tears.]

I-I'm just sorry you had to see that. To feel that... I suppose it shouldn't be surprising since the memories I saw of you were centered around you searching after you lost him... It was where your quest started and that is where mine started even if I didn't know it for a very long time.

Hey, it's not your fault either. Come on--don't cry, it's okay.

Sorry...

[Diarmuid's voice is muffled against Waver's hair.]

I ...hate it. Do you know I can't remember his name? Between the shock and my Father's spell....I never remembered his name and all the information I get on him from the Grail refers to him as Roc's son or The Boar. He wasn't just that beast, Waver! He was a boy. He had a name...

He had a name and I can't remember it. Even I who loved him so can't remember it...

Diarmuid...it's okay. You were just a kid--you can't honestly be held accountable for not remembering that.

If I don't remember, who will? No one else does...

[Diarmuid shuts his eyes and tries to calm himself. This is really the last thing he needs to be thinking about right now. Especially with Cecil's loss so fresh in his mind.]

I know it wouldn't gain me anything, but...sometimes I want to talk to Donn and ask him why. Why did he do it? I know they say he was jealous. I don't doubt it, but... Did he hate us that much?

I wish I knew. [He lightly stroked Diarmuid's hair, trying to sound reassuring.] If there was some way I could help you feel a little less uncertain, you know I'd do it.

W-when we get home do you think you will help me look for versions of my story that might have his name in it? I know it's silly, but...

[Diarmuid lets his voice drop off and just lets the feel of Waver's hand in his hair calm him.]

...if I could just remember that...

Of course I will. I'm sure we'll find something.

[Waver paused, wanting to shift the conversation to something that might not distress Diarmuid so much.]

...what exactly did you see, anyway?

It was kind of a chain of things...

[Diarmuid is glad for Waver's agreement and also for his change of topic.]

I saw how he...left you. Felt how broken you were.

[Unconsciously, he pulls Waver closer.]

Then there was the fire. And you were alone. Searching... You knew you wouldn't--couldn't--see him again, so you vowed that no one else would have to be hurt or would have to lose like that again.

That vow. It's so much like the one I made after my memory was blocked when I was a child. I knew I was missing something--that I had lost something so important to me--and that I could never get it back. I didn't want that to happen to anyone else. That is why I threw myself into being a knight after that.

Just like you are throwing yourself into destroying the Grail now.

[Diarmuid looks down at Waver and smiles.]

I'm so very proud of you. He would be too. I hope you know that...

... [Waver hid his face against Diarmuid's chest, trying to stop the faint tremble that came to his shoulders as his friend spoke.]

It hurt--it hurt right up until I found you here. This whole time it was like there was a gaping hole in my chest that I just had to learn to live with. I did, and I could again if I had to...but that didn't heal it any faster.

Bringing all this to an end...it's not all I have, but it's the most important thing I have to do. Even if I never saw you again, even if you never knew what you meant to me or what I was doing...more than anything I wanted to save you from another stupid war.

[Voice faltering and cracking slightly, Waver paused to compose himself before continuing.]

I haven't accomplished anything worth being proud of. Not yet.

You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

[Diarmuid gently strokes Waver's cheek and tries to get his friend to look up at him.]

Men are not meant to live in such pain or with such loss and yet not only did you do it, you have made yourself stronger for it. You--and me too--we found a way to make something of ourselves even when it would have just been easier to give up.

Perhaps this is our reward for not giving up...

[He pauses for a moment before speaking quietly.]

Do I really stop the pain even though I am...well, me?

...I can't lie and tell you it's exactly the same as it was. Of course it isn't. You aren't the same and I won't be so cruel as to imagine you're a replacement. Although you aren't the same as the one I knew before...that's fine.

[Adjusting his position just slightly, Waver leaned his forehead against Diarmuid's and continued speaking softly.]

You are yourself, with all the flaws that includes. And you personally are someone I care about a great deal. If the improbable happened and he came here as well, he wouldn't need me like you do. And it's your side at which I would stay without question. It's complicated, but I know he'd understand.

So yes--you absolutely do. It honestly doesn't hurt so much anymore.

You...really won't leave me if he comes here?

[If he is honest with himself, that is something that Diarmuid has feared. Deep inside, the thought has terrified him. He's known several people who have had other versions of themselves appear in the Tower. So far, he hasn't been one of them, but there is nothing that says that can't still happen. What if someday Waver's Diarmuid is in that group of newcomers that shows up every month? Will he have to let Waver go? Would he even be able to go through with it, though it would be the right thing to do?

Fortunately, it seems like that particular fear will never come to pass.]

Thank you... I...

[His voice trembles almost like he's going to cry, but these would be tears of relief and joy, not sadness.]

I was afraid... It is stupid, but I was afraid...

[Afraid of losing what means so much to him. Afraid of being a mere replacement yet again...]

I made you a promise, and I don't break my promises if I can help it. No matter what happens, I won't leave you.

[Waver smiled, though his tone had a serious edge to it.]

You're as much 'my Diarmuid' now as he ever was, and you'll never be any kind of replacement. Understand?

[A breath he didn't know he had been holding slips from Diarmuid's mouth. How many times has Waver stressed that promise? Why is it he still needs to hear it repeated in order to believe?

Though...hearing Waver call him 'my Diarmuid' might just have gone a long way toward helping him believe even deep down in that dark part of him that doesn't seem to believe anything anymore.]

I...understand. Thank you. I needed to hear that...

You look relieved. Did you honestly think I could so easily replace either of you? Even if you are technically the same person, you're far from interchangeable.

It's not that...

[One of Diarmuid's hands shifts so that it is resting over the spot on his chest he'd driven his spear through.]

After he made me kill myself, something woke up inside of me. I've mentioned it before. It's something dark. It doesn't trust anything. It doesn't believe anyone. It doubts everyone and everything. I hate it, Waver. I hate it! I can't make it stop and I can't make it listen.

I have been trying to figure out what to do, but I still don't know...

Most people would call that 'spite', I think. Anyone would be angry or distrustful after that.

[Waver rested his hand over Diarmuid's own, sighing.]

I know it's difficult and you might not know where to start, but you can trust me. Sure, I'm not perfect, but I'll give everything I have trying not to let you down.

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