Call Out Meme: Version 8.0

[shatteredlenses]

Edit: This post is now closed.  Please start new all new threads here.
Eighth verse same as the first... It's new 'Call Me Out" Time!




【the ❝CALL ME OUT❞ meme】 VIII
a roleplay meme to inspire muses.

♛ refer to the list above for active muses. ♛ post "calling" one of them out — you can do so by putting their name journal in the subject line! (I have too many Lancers to just go by name! X.x ) ♛ can be informal/formal/comment spam/crosscanon/explicit/whatever tickles your fancy! ♛ feel free to make up a scenario at the start, or wait to see where things go. meme code.

Comments

[kingkingcxiii]

[Regis begins to sit forward so he can rest a hand on Ardyn's arm, but stops himself just as he begins, remembering far too well the flinch moving toward the redhead had caused before. As much as he wishes to offer comfort and reassurance through touch, Ardyn is not in the right frame of mind for it now, so instead, he rests his arms on his legs, hoping that the mere act of leaning closer isn't enough to upset Ardyn as well.]

Make no mistake. There is part of me buried deep that still feels anger and humiliation tied to what happened that day, but raging at you will bring back none of those that were lost. It will not soothe the guilt my failures created within me once I awoke and heard the true scale of the damage that was done. All it will do is add weight to shoulders already bearing far too much of it. You know the magnitude of your actions that day, and you punish yourself more thoroughly than anyone else ever could, enough that you risk causing yourself to lose all that you have gained. If I gave into my anger from all those years past and let you destroy yourself again, how am I any better than those who allowed you to destroy yourself the first time around? How am I any better than the he who forced us all to walk these paths to begin with?

[He falls silent for several moments, just looking into the fire.]

To fear is to be human. Don't fault yourself for that. After so many years of pain and suffering, why should you believe you would be allowed to be happy and free? To love and just be? I struggle with a similar fear and I have only been through a tiny fraction of what you have. Yet, there are nights I awaken terrified this will all be gone and I will be nothing but a soul bound to a ring awaiting the day I must oversee my own son's death. There is no way to stop these fears, but we can chose not to let them control us. Frankly, I don't know about you, but I've had enough of anything or anyone controlling me.

[burninglight]

[He took a deep breath and sighed heavily, muttering into his hands something that sunded oddly like 'this would make more sense if you at least shouted a little.']

[But finally his hands fell away, Ardyn slumped over in a similar gesture with far more exhaustion to it.]

I'm tired of being everyone's puppet. Bahamut, Verstael, Nina--I must have said a hundred times back in the spaceport that we were going to overturn the ending she'd written. I had no idea--I didn't remember that was something I should never have believed possible.

...But I want to hold on to how that defiance felt, rather than remember how useless and futile everything was before. I want to be sure I can protect what I have now no matter how little it might be deserved.

It's simply...not an easy thing to do.

[kingkingcxiii]

[When he hears those soft words, a smile causes the corner of Regis' mouth to twitch up.]

Come practice your magic with me someday and I promise I will yell at you all you wish then. Until that time, I'm afraid you will need to make due with imagining what me yelling at you will be like.

[Honestly, he's yelled enough over his life. He really has little interested in doing it anymore no matter how much it might be warranted.]

Nothing worthwhile in life is easy. Remember when I said before that your mind was aiding you by only allowing you to remember things in small parts? It is to protect that wish of yours. Each new set of memories allows you to strengthen that desire so that you are ready for whatever more may come, so you don't become so lost that you cannot remember how it feels to defy the fate others have set for you.

[burninglight]

[Ardyn managed a small, worn out laugh at the remark, running a hand restlessly through his hair.]

...It fractures itself to protect itself. [That came out without thinking, muttered under his breath before he shook his head.]

Well, either Nina thought she was helping or she really broke something in the upload process. I'd prefer to set myself on fire than admit gratitude to her, so I think I'll choose to believe the latter. [Sarcasm was, at least, a good sign he was pulling himself back together.]

I'll admit part of me is worried it's the kind of thing that's liable to cause problems. Humans don't realize how small they are, in a physical or mental sense. They aren't built to contain this much, and truthfully up until now I'd been worried that remembering more than I had would cause me to all but warp right back into hallucinatory insanity.

[. . .]

Nothing yet, though, so maybe that's a fair sign.

[kingkingcxiii]

[Sarcasm is, indeed, a good sign. One that causes Regis' smile to widen despite how solemn the conversation is.]

Those who have spent time as something beyond human often forget just how much the human mind is capable of handling. It is true. None of us are fully equipped to handle all that you have seen, but we are also adaptable. Don't be so quick to assume you will fall back into those old patterns. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for.

[burninglight]

You're right--I'm sure I'm underselling it. I suppose a year or two just isn't enough to get fully used to being mortal again, no matter how many times I begin to think I could be.

[He sat up a little straighter, back to twisting the ends of his hair around his fingers.]

I'll be fine. Kind of have to be, the others are fairly hopeless without me around.

[kingkingcxiii]

Yes, two years may seem like a long time coming back into being mortal again, but do keep in mind some mortals spend their whole lives wrestling with what is means to be mortal. There is no rush.

[Regis laughs then, following Ardyn's example and settling back into his chair before his back can begin to get to cranky about the position he was in.]

The members of our line do tend to attract the hopeless sort. They are lucky we like adopting strays as much as we do.

[burninglight]

Mm...pretty sure I was the exception for a while. I'd daresay I was the one adopted long before I did anything of the sort myself. I'm lucky they're all crazy enough to have attached themselves to a monster, and luckier still I never killed any of them in the process.

[kingkingcxiii]

It may be you were lucky or it may be that you were not as much a monster as you believed yourself to be.

[When Regis said Ardyn's reactions were the most human of all of theirs, he was not kidding. No matter how strong the monster in him was, part of his humanity remained just waiting for a light to lead it back.]

[burninglight]

You know, I hear that one a lot. And given everything...yeah, it's probably true. But it was still pretty insane of them to decide the walking apocalypse was theirs now.

Not to say that I'm ungrateful. Just that self-preservation is apparently a difficult concept to master.

[kingkingcxiii]

[Regis snorts softly, gesturing lazily with his hand.]

Come now. You know full well I am the wrong person to talk to when it comes to the topic of mastering self-preservation. I have absolutely no right to critique anyone on their lack of it.

[burninglight]

...Upon reflection, you've a point and every last one of us has ever been terrible at that. I suspect a genetic predisposition for reckless stupidity came from my side.

[kingkingcxiii]

Well, if you are going to claim responsibility for it, I'm hardly going to argue against you. I will just point everyone in your direction from now on.

[burninglight]

That's quite fair, I think.